Posts tagged: life
White Russian, in a mug because all my old-fashioned glasses are dirty. While putting away the cream I forgot that I was making a white russian and thought I had made tea until I took a sip
I had a wild hair color phase. Now I work in client offices on upwards of million dollar projects and it’s unacceptable. I totally missed my chance.
SO. dyscalculia. i missed dyscalculia awareness day apparently, and i wish i hadn’t because i would have made some goddamn noise about it.
dyscalculia is a lot like dyslexia. SYMPTOMS:
- Normal or accelerated language acquisition: verbal, reading, writing. Poetic ability. Good visual memory for the printed word. Good in the areas of science (until a level requiring higher math skills is reached), geometry (figures with logic not formulas), and creative arts.
- Mistaken recollection of names. Poor name/face retrieval. Substitute names beginning with same letter.
- Difficulty with the abstract concepts of time and direction. Inability to recall schedules, and sequences of past or future events. Unable to keep track of time. May be chronically late.
- Inconsistent results in addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Poor mental math ability. Poor with money and credit. Cannot do financial planning or budgeting. Checkbooks not balanced. Short term, not long term financial thinking. Fails to see big financial picture. May have fear of money and cash transactions. May be unable to mentally figure change due back, the amounts to pay for tips, taxes, etc.
- When writing, reading and recalling numbers, these common mistakes are made: number additions, substitutions, transpositions, omissions, and reversals.
- Inability to grasp and remember math concepts, rules, formulas, sequence (order of operations), and basic addition, subtraction, multiplication and division facts. Poor long term memory (retention & retrieval) of concept mastery- may be able to perform math operations one day, but draw a blank the next! May be able to do book work but fails all tests and quizzes.
- May be unable to comprehend or “picture” mechanical processes. Lack “big picture/ whole picture” thinking. Poor ability to “visualize or picture” the location of the numbers on the face of a clock, the geographical locations of states, countries, oceans, streets, etc.
- Poor memory for the “layout” of things. Gets lost or disoriented easily. May have a poor sense of direction, lose things often, and seem absent minded. (Remember the absent minded professor?)
- May have difficulty grasping concepts of formal music education. Difficulty sight-reading music, learning fingering to play an instrument, etc.
- May have poor athletic coordination, difficulty keeping up with rapidly changing physical directions like in aerobic, dance, and exercise classes. Difficulty remembering dance step sequences, rules for playing sports.
- Difficulty keeping score during games, or difficulty remembering how to keep score in games, like bowling, etc. Often looses track of whose turn it is during games, like cards and board games. Limited strategic planning ability for games, like chess.
like…. i added a picture of basically how i taught myself to add and i even used that system of counting “edges” to multiply. (like 3x9, put 3 9’s in the “1,2,3” spots, THEN COUNT ALL THE CORNERS ON ALL THREE 9’S….) that’s what i had to do to in secret just to make it through school.
i felt. so. stupid. i still feel really really stupid even now, talking about it as an adult. i couldn’t look at an analog clock without taking 10 seconds or so to figure out the time, i had to give up playing violin in 7th grade and tell my mom i wasn’t interested anymore- because the music was getting too complicated to play by ear and i could NOT for the life of me understand sheet music. in college i failed algebra like fuckin… i dont even know, four times??? it went too fast and i was expected to recall everything from highschool, i could not keep up and trying to learn from the textbook was practically impossible. i’ve always had to talk to teachers and have every single thing explained in detail to be able to pass math classes. i remember in 4th grade i never got to go to recess and i had to stand next to the fence and watch all the other kids play because i literally refused to do math. i would stuff all our worksheets into my desk and hope my teacher didn’t notice. numbers literally pained me too much to look at and try to make sense of.
hardly anyone knows about dyscalculia, i sure as hell didn’t till… less than 6 months ago or something. when i came across the definition my jaw dropped and i wanted to cry and cry, it was such a relief. i’ve always felt INCREDIBLY STUPID about this, and it’s so easy for other people to “get”- even remembering sequences of short numbers for jobs or whatever, like when i worked with taxi dispatch, god. numbers. numbers are everywhere and i have so much anxiety over them built up from this deep-rooted fear that i wasn’t as intelligent as i felt, and i had to keep how awful i was at understanding numbers a huge secret. sure, people could call me bad at math, but bad at telling time? bad at adding numbers in my head quickly? can’t multiply to save my life? have to “show my work” to myself when using a calculator just so i don’t lose track and mess things up in the process?
just sayin. a bit of dyscalculia awareness here, because hardly anyone knows about it and i know there are hundreds of thousands of kids going through the same shit i did. i don’t want them to be 25 before they feel the relief of, “i’m not an idiot! this is a disability, and it doesn’t affect my intelligence at all!”
so yeah. does anyone else with dyscalculia do the “corner counting” thing? also- this is really weird, but the ONLY way i’ve ever been good with numbers is intuiting them, completely out of the blue. i have this really really almost scary talent of, for instance, knowing exactly when to stop shopping at the grocery store because im about to hit my limit. i might glance at how much an item is before i toss it into the cart, but theres no way i could remember that price or keep a tally in my head. i’m usually within $4-5. or when i worked in a deli, after a couple months i could literally feel out exactly .5, 1, 2 pounds of meat on my first try, customers would raise their eyebrows at the scale and think i’d been working there too long. WEIRD HUH BRAINS WHAT ARE THEY
Thank you so much for this. I don’t quite have dyscalculia (afaik), but I struggled with math growing up (and meet quite a few of the above points) and it wasn’t until COLLEGE, when i literally could not pass intro math that an advisor suggest I get tested. I had taken this particular class TWICE and had not scored well enough to move onto college algebra; a class I needed in order to move on in my teacher-education program. The education department refused to budge on requirements (most likely seeing me as replaceable, as I was a Secondary English Education major) and I was left in a panic, knowing that there was no way I could, as an out-of-state student, continue to shell out the money it would take to pass these repeated classes. I went to my English advisor, as i was a double major, and she went and looked through my high school grades, ACT math sub scores, etc. and realized that something wasn’t right.
She suggested I get tested and I went through a full blow IQ test. I’m still not sure what I have aside from a math-related learning disability (the paperwork I have is really confusing, i.e. medical jargon i’m not familiar with), but it allowed the English department to waive my college algebra requirement and substitute two other classes in its place: a basic skills computer class (word, powerpoint, excel) and a personal and family finance class. I ended up dropping the Education major and pursuing my bachelors in English which allowed me to graduate on time. Luckily for me, I’m finishing up a teaching certification program through an alternate route, so I didn’t have to give up on my desire to teach.
It’s amazing to me that I went 20+ YEARS of schooling without having a teacher stop and think, “Something isn’t right here.” Both of my parents feel terrible that it didn’t occur to them that I might be more than simply struggling. Math was (and still is) a constant source of anxiety and avoidance for me, but it didn’t have to be that way if I had just gotten the help I needed when i was younger. It was so frustrating to try to laugh off my inability to basic math and being in math class was downright embarrassing. God, I start blushing in mortification just thinking about it. If I had just had ONE teacher decide to suggest getting tested, my formative years may have turned out differently.
It’s been really eye-opening to go through these education classes and see what goes into getting a child tested for special education services. On the one hand, yes, it involves a HUGE amount of work involving data collection and analysis, meetings, and extremely rigid timelines. With data and testing, the entire process can take up to a full year before any sort of IEP (individualized education plan) can be implemented. However, A) this is why it’s so damn important to CATCH IT EARLY and B) THIS IS YOUR DAMN JOB.
I CANNOT stress early intervention enough. Even if the student doesn’t qualify for special education services, it’s still beneficial to know where the student stands, and to see what sort of help they DO need so that teachers can use that information to adjust accordingly! YES, it’s more work, but isn’t that we’re here? To help our students succeed?
That got a little mushy, but yeah. This stuff is really important.
it makes me so happy to see future teachers taking notice of this post. that means so much to me.
dyscalculia sufferer over here. i keep wondering if there’s a genetic predisposition, bc my father has dyslexia…
i’m really bitter about my schooling experience. i was often scolded by my teachers for not keeping up w/ the class in math, with a lot of “you’re so smart! why aren’t you trying harder?” at this point, i probably have math anxiety as well. and i’m so, so fucking angry. i COULD have been in college and with a degree by now, but my school district seems to know absolutely nothing about dyscalculia (despite repeated discussions w/ school counselors and teachers and shit about “i feel like i have dyslexia, but with numbers”), so i failed and failed and failed and eventually ended up in the GED exit option program (i have my high school diploma, but i got it by taking the GED).
schooling for dyscalculiacs (what are words???) is a nightmare.
Sigh, lets try this again, first time tumblr didn’t post my personal story about this.
In school I was a run of the mill “smart kid” I could do math fairly well and could remember abstract constructs. Now I’m a programmer and deal completely in the abstract and big picture. But the simple math always gave me problems and still does. I’m not sure what it’s called, it reminds me of stuff I’ve seen on TV about OCD, but I can try to mentally add two numbers together over and over and get the same answer but still not trust it. Even for like 3+3 I know it’s 6 but sometimes I just don’t trust that 6 is the actual right answer.
So I came up with a system very similar to this. But for the round shaped numbers like 6,8, and 9 I draw a small two column grid of dots. Three in each column for 6, and four for 8. I then add each dot to the number I’m adding with. For 7 and 9 I use the 6 and 8 grid and just add on one more dot for each.
It’s a super slow way of doing math, but doing it means i can get through a single calculation having only done it once or twice, not 5 or 6 times. This is why throughout highschool and college I always had my trusty TI-89 on me. (though some days I wouldn’t trust it till the second or third calculation)
Laundry detergent because it had a purple label and some flowers and though “that’s mighty pretty”. And my clothes smell fantastic. Who knew giving up stupidly male gendered products could make you smell so good.
So my very good friend since 5th grade hawksht. Is transferring from Hawaii to Chicago (hes in the Navy). He’ll be moving in May. My lease is up June 17th so I’ll be moving in May.
So we are thinking we become roommates in Chicago. Everything about our situations lines up perfectly. Like he’ll be loosing furniture, I have furniture. I can’t have a dog because of my job, but he can. I make a decent amount of money, and he gets a housing expense. We could have a fairly decent place between the two of us.
It’ll be fantastic as long as we don’t start hating each other which really shouldn’t be a problem. We just gotta wait until he gets his orders and finds out which recruiting station he’ll be at then we can start looking for places.
I am now legitimately looking at Missoula as a place to move. There are no downsides to that town (I haven’t checked how fast the Internet is yet)
It’s been maybe 2 years since I decided I wanted to move to Seattle. Since then I’ve been constantly confronted with things that happen in the city or that the city is doing that I don’t like. It’s mostly been small simple things really. Public transportation cut backs, putting caps on car services like Uber, dumb stuff.
Then there are the citizens that end up online posting in public forums. They all seem like entitled assholes. Sure they are but a tiny fraction of the entire population, but it doesn’t stop the impression growing. I’m an angry person, it goes down to my bones. Being around other angry people makes me feel sick. I have to stay calm to be remotely pleasant.
The more I think about all the negatives of living there and comparing it to the only 3 days I’ve ever spent there (which made me wanna move there). The negatives are winning. I’m starting to think about moving to other places.
Like back to SLC where I have friends and guaranteed company. Or maybe to Montana, where it’s peaceful, calm, and beautiful. I could rent a house with space to setup a little workshop for the same price I could get a studio in Seattle.
The problem is I can move anywhere in the 48 I’d like and they all have problems.
So I think I found the area/place I’m gonna try to move to when I move to Seattle. The Columbia City area. Seems cool what with it’s ethic diversity, on the light rail route, middle of everything location.
But it has one problem. There are no big box stores like anywhere near it. I don’t know how to live a life with local stores, they are all personal and small and rarely have everything you need (well that’s how they are in the south).
A fantastic lunch with my co-workers. We were all taken out to a Brazilian steak house.
When we got back I got on my phone ready to text someone how amazing it was. But there’s no one that would care. So to Tumblr I go.
It was the best meats I have ever had! And I had a fantastic key lime pie. Absolutely wonderful.
what it is. But I have been feeling so fuckin fine (cloud cult, look it up) lately. I mean I’m lonely, have a moderate financial worry, a bit stressed about finding a place in Seattle, my car needs a bit more maintenance (which adds to the money stuff), and my 9 to 6 Monday to Friday office job/project is bumming me out.
But I am feeling really good.